Why People in Marital Distress Don’t Pray

Why People in Marital Distress Don’t Pray

In my counseling practice I’ve come across several dysfunctional marriages.  In addition to developing counseling exercises to take a couple in dysfunctional marriage through I prescribe prayer and fasting for them; yes, fasting included.  It is amazing how often people reject this prescription of prayer and fasting for their marriage.  When someone is sick they or their loved ones would readily accept a prescription of prayer and fasting for the sick person and do it fervently.  I wondered then why people would not pray and fast for a sick marriage, and so I started exploring the reasons.  Here are some reasons that I came up with.

  1. You are emotionally crippled by problems in your marriage and have no emotional capital to pray.
  2. You lack faith in prayer as a tool for solving your marriage problem.
  3. You are ignorant of the role of prayer in solving marriage problems.
  4. You don’t know that Satan can enter the marriage.
  5. You are so preoccupied with future plans and raising children that you don’t care about marital problems until it blows up.
  6. You’re so dissatisfied with your spouse that you do not want the marriage to be fixed.
  7. You’re “divorced” but still in the marriage and hence you don’t feel the need for the marriage to be fixed.
  8. You were getting old or you needed to marry to escape poverty or oppressed living situation and so you have resigned yourself to accept your spouse and don’t care about the problems.
  9. You’re comfortable with the current state of your marriage even when it is bad.
  10. You’ve resigned yourself to accept the problems in the marriage as normal because you may have been conditioned as a child to see dysfunctional marriage as the norm.
  11. You married against advise and so you’ve resigned to accept the marriage as it is.
  12. Your lover spouse has become your enemy spouse and so you pray against him/her instead of for the marriage.
  13. You refuse to listen to what the Spirit tells you about your marital problems.
  14. You were forced into the marriage by parents even though you didn’t love the person and you’ve resigned yourself that it won’t get better, so why bother to pray.
  15. You entered marriage in a sinful way either through an affair with a married person or you are a second wife and therefore you don’t feel you have the moral authority to pray against marital problems

Do you have any additions, subtractions, or modifications to these reasons?

May God fix your marriage as you muster the faith and zeal to pray for your marriage!


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